How can it be that some people who have an abundance of money are deeply unhappy and yet others, who have very little have great joy in their lives?
If you’re here because you’re feeling despondent, can’t seem to find much joy in life or want to improve the quality of life then I’m here to tell you that you can find how to be happy with life. Regardless of your situation, there is a universal way to improve the way you feel.
Then to further enhance and keep you on track, there are some solutions you can apply on your journey. Combine these and you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Sometimes you can feel better instantly and the joy you put back into your life.
Here’s a little something to get you started. I encourage you to stand up and dance to this and clap. Even if you think you don’t know how to dance, jigging about is just fine. It’s time to interrupt that pattern that’s keeping you stuck.
Feelings of Unhappiness
Feelings of unhappiness can vary and the severity of those feelings of unhappiness are very individual. It could be that you struggle to get out of bed in the morning, you don’t sleep well at night or you find little to laugh about.
Sometimes it can be extremely difficult to put into words those feelings of unhappiness. Sometimes it’s just a big heavy feeling in your chest, a knot in your stomach or it could be an all over sense of dread that consumes you. Other times it could be something as simple as feeling grumpy with everyone and everything around you without understanding why.
When you combine a number of those feelings of unhappiness together, it can be a deadly cocktail for your mental health and happiness.
Understanding the Cause of Unhappiness
It can be a one off event that makes you feel unhappy; such as the death of a loved one, a relationship breakup, a demotion at work, the way someone has spoken to you or a life event. In these cases, the feeling of unhappiness can be temporary and will pass.
Other times, unhappiness can creep up on you. Feeling consistently unhappy can be the body’s way of telling you that something is not right and needs addressing. The feelings simply don’t go away. Once this has happened it is easy to feel like you are spiraling into a dark pit that you cannot seem to get out of.
So how do you learn how to be happy with life when you are constantly stuck feeling flat and then to salt to the wound, you have a feeling of despair that you cannot find a way out of it? It feels like you’re in a loop.
Witnessing your thoughts and feelings is part of the key to feeling happier.
The Deceit of Happiness
Why is it that we appear to continually chase happiness with the belief that having ‘things’ will somehow provide it?
Some people continually chase the next shiny object. Some, use addictions to mask what is really going on or as a way to not face the pain and trauma they feel. They are caught in a never ending cycle of pain and relief through addiction.
While we continue to search outside ourselves for happiness, we will only ever achieve temporary relief and even sometimes not even that. Our bodies forget what it feels like to be happy as it is replaced with feelings of struggle, anxiety, grief, stress, hopelessness and helplessness. We experience more of these instead of being filled with joy, love, peace and happiness.
A Path to Feeling Happy with Life
Firstly, know that you ARE life. You don’t ‘get a life’. You are life itself and the journey is based on decisions you make along the way.
Too often we ignore what our body is telling us. We are taught to go into our mind and get out of our body which is the exact opposite of what we should do.
Happiness involves nourishing the mind, body and soul. Eckhart Tolle is a renowned spiritual speaker and author who teaches extensively about the power of living in the now.
When we realise we are not our thoughts and can focus on being present in the moment, our problems dissolve. That’s not to say we do not experience events that are unpleasant. We can witness our thoughts on those events, honour those thoughts and feelings and release them. How we release them, I’ll share a little further on.
Things don’t need to be ok for me to be ok.
Add that saying as a reminder in your phone that comes up once a day. It will help you remember that you are not your thoughts.
Often, our emotions can be dictated by what is or is not happening around us. When we experience this shift away from being controlled by what is going on around us we can think more clearly and are less reactionary.
To define it further, there is the event itself and then there is the story we tell ourselves about the event. For example, Jane is going on a date for the first time in a long time. She is nervous about the meeting Phil and arrives early to give herself time to settle in. She waits and waits and after half an hour, her date Phil never arrives. These are the two paths she can take:
Scenario 1: Jane can take the destructive path which is the self loathing, unlovable self talk which sends her home in tears telling herself that it was a mistake to try, along with all the negative thoughts about herself that she can muster. Then she gets a phone call from Phil to say he had a minor car accident, is extremely apologetic and called her as soon as he could and would like to arrange another time to meet. Jane swings back to feeling happy about herself…..for now.
In this scenario, her feelings are completely dependent on the outside world. She is up and down depending on what happens. What a roller coaster way to live life.
Scenario 2: Jane leaves the restaurant, grabs a healthy take away and dates herself for the night. She goes home, lights a candle, grabs her favourite movie and rug and enjoys a night in. Phil rings to say he’s had a minor car accident, is extremely apologetic and called as soon as he could and would like to arrange another time to meet. Jane, who has self-partnered and self-cared is glad to hear from Phil and further, let’s Phil know she is sorry to hear of his minor car accident that she’s had a great night in anyway which shows Phil she is not reliant on him nor life to feel happy.
In this scenario, Jane may have felt disappointed but did not make a story up about herself. It was an event and she did not apply a self-destructive story to it. Her internal compass still points true north.
This is not about hiding your feelings or minimising your feelings, it’s about living in the present moment and not letting events turn into stories that run how you interact with the world.
The Impact of Food on your Mood
What we eat can have an impact on our mood. If we are eating dead, lifeless food, we are not nourishing our bodies. With foods laden with additives, preservatives and cooked at high temperatures that destroy the nutrients it provides very little goodness for our bodies.
To improve your mood, start to incorporate a salad into your day or a green smoothie. Reduce sugar. Change what you keep in your pantry and opt for fresh food, not packaged frozen foods.
Our mood and energy can be effected by how much or how little we eat, our exercise and the quality of the food we consume.
On a cellular level, we are fighting free radicals and the impact of the make up of foods. Simply, eat crap and you’re likely to feel crap.
Water – a must for survival. Increase your water and increase your energy. Our body is made up of mostly water. We need to replenish our water.
Fun Fun Fun
When we are bogged down with things and we have become a hermit due to anxiety or stress, it can be hard to know what to do.
“It’s fun to have fun
But you have to know how”
~ Dr Seuss
So how do you have fun when you feel like crap? How do you lift your mood when you feel so stuck in trauma? The process is easy and the way back to a happy self can be almost instant. Some people report amazing results directly after starting to release. If you want to feel better now, you can get started RIGHT NOW by following this process.
I know from my own personal journey. I have been where some of you are right now. I would have anxiety come up literally out of no-where and feel so uneasy and trapped. Then, I released using this technique.
Common Questions About Happiness
Here are some answers to some frequently asked questions about Happiness.
Will Happiness Find Me?
Happiness is something you find from within. It is not something you find in the outside world. Yes there are experiences we have that bring a sense of joy but long lasting happiness is not based on short term joy but the work you do on your inner self.
can happiness be taught?
Happiness itself is an experience. When we understand our true selves we can come to know happiness. Sometimes how to attain happiness is taught through books, experiences, audio and other resources. As the old saying goes, “you can lead a horse to water”. Similarly, you can be shown what to do to access inner happiness but it is you that needs to do the inner work. If you do the inner work, the results can be instantaneous. It’s not complex, just commitment.
are happiness and success the same thing?
No they are not the same thing. Sometimes successful people are unhappy people. Success is also something people look to achieve in their field. It can mean many things. Success has various levels. As an example, someone who has suffered a heart attack may have had successful artery surgery.
Happiness is a state of being.
will happiness improve your health?
There have been cases where happiness has improved health and it usually involves you doing the work on yourself. Happiness and releasing negativity and / or trauma can improve your overall well being.
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