I was sorting through the cutlery draw the other day, getting rid of a few things no longer needed and I came across a very small water pistol. Little did I know that this miniature toy would be a reminder of the importance of fun & bonding with your children.
I left the water pistol on the bench and my teenage son spotted it. He quietly filled it with water and without a word of warning, started shooting water at me. He totally took me by surprise and as a result, I chased him to try and tackle the water pistol from him……
So then it was on!
I grabbed my water bottle and we started chasing each other around the house, laughing and having fun. We ended up outside in a small water fight. We were wrestling each other as I tried to get the gun off him without being squirted with water. It was such good fun.
Upon reflection, moments like these are great because they put you in ‘now-time’. These ‘now’ moments have you focusing on what is happening in that moment and not the past nor the future. You are simply in that moment, having fun.
So as a result, I came up with these ideas to help you bond with your own children which is especially important during divorce or if your children are being alienated from you by the other parent.
Remember, that activities create memories and this is essential for both alienated parents and alienated kids (a shared horrible experience of abuse).
BIG TIP: JOIN IN WITH YOUR KIDS. THEY WANT YOU INVOLVED!
Activities to Bond with your Children.
Any activities you do don’t need to cost a lot. That water pistol we had came out of a Christmas bon bon from what I recall. It ended up in the back of the cutlery draw only to be re-discovered. Amazing how something so little could create laughter and silliness for our enjoyment.
Here are 5 Activities to get you enjoying your time together with your child / children.
- Surprise Weekend Art Mornings
This will depend on the age of your children. I used to set up the kitchen table with art activities. I even stuck a sign at the bottom of the stairs with my children’s names on it with an arrow toward the table so they saw it once the woke and came downstairs to the living area.
The look of delight and comments warmed my heart.
I would go to an art store and get etching pages (you scratch off the black front and make pictures, origami, paint canvases and paint, pictures where you stick the little squares down to create a mosaic, hand puppet sewing kits for kids, coloring print outs so we could color this in and bring us into now time.
2. Plan an outing
Pick a short bush walk, pack a lunch, water bottles and back pack. If allowed take your doggo. Get yourselves out in nature. It’s great for grounding and a great way to get away from electronics.
If you don’t want to pack a lunch. Have a cafe picked out so you can do your walk and then stop for a drink and bite to eat.
3. Cooking together
This one can be a bit fickle. It will depend on the mood of your child as sometimes the idea of making cookies or a cake together can be rejected. If this is the case at the time. you can always plant the idea.
Sometimes I do this by giving my children a recipe book and asking them to pick something out of it that they would like to try. When they are empowered to make decisions they are more inclined to be involved, in my opinion.
Other times, when I am cooking I just ask one of them to get the ingredients out for me and the measuring cups, utensils and bowl, etc.
4. A new experience
As a special treat, I was looking for something my kids had not done before. I secretly planned a horse riding experience that was to take us onto the beach. I organised the day and told the kids I had booked something for us to do and I didn’t tell them what it was until about 5 minutes before we arrived.
When they found out they were so excited. We had the leader take a photo of us together on our horses, on my phone. It’s a memory I have put in a frame as a lovely reminder of the fun things we have done together.
You don’t have to go to that extent if you don’t have much in the way of finances. Just search for experiences in your area and see what you can find.
5. Regular games night
We have a pizza and poker night almost weekly, on a week night. Sometimes that pizza is replaced with other take away food and we also swap out the games with other options such as card games or other board games.
If you don’t have many games, you can find some at op shops or second hand places. So, again, you don’t have to spend a lot.
Sometimes it’s good to do a surprise activity or you can also ask your kids what they might like to do.
My kids like me to play Mario cart with them even though I’m crap at it. Sure it’s an electronic game but sometimes you gotta do what they do and become part of their world.
The keys to improve bonding it to get involved with your kids in activities and be present in the moment.
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